


What The Heart Wants

by Leemichelle



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-04
Updated: 2005-02-04
Packaged: 2019-04-29 09:16:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leemichelle/pseuds/Leemichelle
Summary: Mal has a question, does Jayne have the answer





	What The Heart Wants

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

What The Heart Wants

## What The Heart Wants

Title: What The Heart Wants  
Author: Mightbeme 

Rutting - Fucking  
Gorram - God Damm  
Shi ma - Oh really  
Yesu - Jesus  
Laotian fu - Oh God  
Wode ma - Mother of God  
Ta ma de - Motherfucker  
Dong ma - Understand  
Shi - Yes  
Qingwa cao de liumang - Frog humping son of a bitch 

What The Heart Wants 

Mal Reynolds didn't have no time for first impressions, like it or not most folks tended to put on a show. They'd make like they're all bright and shiny on the outside, but scratch that pretty stuff and they'd be patches of rust bigger'n Serenity peeking out. 

Having said that Mal also knew he could be fooled, see the shiny surface and think there was nothing but rust underneath. The doc, _Simon_ was a real jawbreaker. The pretty exterior had thrown Mal, he'd seen all that polish, only difference was when it'd cracked, there'd been gold underneath. Mal scowled and took a sip from his cup, letting the rough spirit warm him. He hadn't wanted to see what was under there, under the mannerly ways and perfect smile. The good doctor was just another temptation he didn't need in his life. 

He shook off thoughts of Simon, first impressions made no sense. 

His one of Jayne was just as bad. On the surface the mercenary was meaner than a whore who never got paid. He'd thought Jayne was big and dumb, muscle with ice running through his veins. They'd been through some rough times together and he'd thought he'd known all he needed to about Jayne Cobb. 

He'd thought wrong. 

When things were at their worst, it seemed he could always rely on Jayne's steady hands. Those hands had touched him many times, grabbed him up when he'd almost fallen, pushed him down out of harms way more'n once. He could admit to wonderin', in his head anyways, about how those hands would feel in a, well a less professional way, just a lil' bit, cause thinking too much could get a body killed. 

Any other man would turn tail in the face of overwhelming odds, but not Jayne, he had a natural talent for mayhem. He kept a steady grip on his gun when he was protecting his shipmates, his family. Once Mal had gotten though Jayne's thick skull that the Tams were crew, the tension that had revolved around them had eased, sure it'd taken awhile for Jayne to truly come to think of them as family. But then, River had a way about her, and he'd known Jayne's bluster about her an' Simon had just been his way of trying to protect the kin he already had. The only thing Mal had ever known to faze the other man at all was the gorram reavers. 

Mention reavers in his presence and Jayne started shakin' fit to bust something. Just went to show that he knew the meaning of fear, something that shouldn't be undervalued as far as Mal was concerned. Fearless men took unacceptable risks, not only with themselves but with others, and that was something Mal didn't need on his boat. 

Jayne Cobb was a bad man, bad news to anyone not crew on Serenity, mean and ornery he may be, but he had feelings as well. 

Mal shook his head and muttered under his breath. "Makes no difference t'all if'n he does." 

"You know, folks that talk to themselves tend to come across as not quite sane." 

The preachers voice startled Mal and he glanced up from his cup to see the older man's quiet smile. 

"Weren't talking." Mal fiddled with his cup and sighed, looked up at Book again in resignation and motioned him to sit down. 

Book slid into the seat opposite Mal, his own drink placed carefully in front of him on the timber table. 

"Something troubling you Captain?" Mal twitched, the older man's knack of sliding under his skin kicked in, made it seem as if he already knew what Mal was thinking. It made him uneasy, to be so transparent, so easily read, like he was just words in that bible the preacher carried around. He lifted his chin a mite, letting the words slide away, cutting off Book's advice before it started. 

"Naw, nothing you need worry yourself about preacher." 

It didn't work, the preacher's eyes changed, went all steely like, which made Mal all kinds of uncomfortable, and he still went on. 

"If you're worried about Wash and I, you needn't." 

"What?" Mal's eyes jerked up to lock with Book's. "Was there something I need to know about my crew?" 

"Well you said 'he', so if its not Wash or I, then by simple process of elimination its either Simon or Jayne your worried about." 

Mal's mouth opened and closed but nothing came out of a second or two, like the words couldn't quite catch up to his lips. Finally, " I ain't concerned about anyone, certainly not the good doctor or my hired man." Mal felt the tingling rush of warmth to his cheeks, knew he was overreacting and saw Book's eyes widen at the heat of his words. 

"Really?" Book considered him, "You know sometimes being part of a crew, a family if you would, means you have other people to... lean on." 

"Much as I appreciate the offer, I think I can work this one out on my own, thanks anyways." 

Book took a lengthy sip from his mug, and for long minutes there was an uncomfortable silence. Mal sighed, and Book glanced at him again, clearly weighing his words before speaking. 

"Perhaps that's your problem?" 

Mal shook his head irritated almost beyond words, "For the gorram last time, I don't have a problem." 

Book smiled slightly, lips just curling up at Mal's discomfort. "Your not sure who to lean on." 

When Mal's mouth fell open again, Book just pressed on regardless. 

"Now Simon has many good points, he's a sincere young man but he's also a troubled one. His sister takes up so much of his heart and his time. Now Jayne on the other hand is a tower of strength, some people might only see the surface," he paused and caught Mal's eyes, "The impression he gives of not caring for anyone but himself. But then they'd be wrong." 

Mal stayed silent, just watching Book curiously as the preacher took a final sip of his tea and took his leave. 

"The heart wants what it wants Captain, nothing wrong with that." 

Mal sat there for awhile just thinking about those words. The preacher was right, Simon was all pretty and shiny but he'd always be pulled in different directions. Jayne he could trust to follow where he'd lead, to let him lean on him when he needed to. Jayne was as solid as the verse was big, but was he sly? Now there was a poser. 

Mal stared down into his drink, swirled it around and watched the bubbles dance around the sides of the cup. Would it truly hurt him to try? The bigger if, was would Jayne hurt him? He knew the merc liked women, he'd seen him with enough, but he seemed partial to the company of men as well. According to the doc, at Canton he'd had his arms wrapped around a boy and a girl, whether he'd bedded both of them was something Jayne hadn't talked about. 

They'd been out in the black for a couple of months now, kissing dirt just long enough to let Inara keep working, taking what short jobs they could. They'd kept a low profile since that bounty hunter had tried to take River away. He'd known for certain that none of the other unmarried crew, had been able to get bedded. Sides Kaylee would likely kill him if he started anything up with Simon. She had her eye on both brother and sister, it was just a matter of time and the wearing down of Simon's resistance before she and River had him just where they wanted him. 

Mal drained his cup, he'd never know unless he posed the question. 

He put away his mug and headed out towards Jayne's bunk, the ship was mostly quiet, the crew had gone to their beds long ago, but if he knew Jayne the big man would be still up polishing his guns. 

Mal stood outside Jayne's quarters, hand hovering over the call button, but before he could lay a hand to it the door opened and Jayne came climbing out. At a definite loss, the words Mal had half prepared scattered under the sudden surge of hormones. Mal took in the broad shoulders and strong back, the swell of Jayne's muscular butt and long legs. As the big man righted himself in the passageway he unconsciously forced Mal to stumble back and almost fall. Strong hands reached out and hauled him back upright, and Mal clamped onto Jayne's forearms desperately trying to steady himself. 

"Hey Mal, sorry about that, didn't see you there." Jayne tried to release his hold, surprised when the Mal's grip tightened. A frown creased Jayne's brow, the captain looked a little spooked, and he weren't letting go. 

"You ok Cap'n, not feelin' sick or nothin' are you?" Jayne suddenly pulled Mal closer into the curve of his arm, the unexpected movement shaking off Mal's grasping hands, and freed Jayne's so he could lift calloused fingers up to feel the captain's brow. 

"You feel a mite warm, want me to take you down to the infirmary, let the doc take a look at you?" 

Mal swallowed nervously, and pushed away, this fantasy about him and Jayne was never gonna happen. Sure' an he got all twitchy and breathless when the bigger man pulled him close, his heart was racin' like the first time he ever went up in the black, but it was never gonna work, and Jayne was more'n likely to kill him than kiss him if he tried. 

"No...no, I'm fine Jayne, you just startled me is all. I was just gonna turn in myself." Mal moved away from Jayne, the big merc looked puzzled as the captain tried to walk away. 

"Uh, Mal?" 

"Yeah Jayne?" Mal skimmed a quick look back over his shoulder at the hesitant question. 

"You might want to consider the direction you're going in." 

"Huh?" Mal looked around at the tone of Jayne's voice, recognition dawning as he followed the hand pointed in the opposite direction. 

"You're bunk's that a way." 

"Oh." Mal felt his face burn all the way up to his ears, as he turned and made his way past the still puzzled man. 

Jayne watched Mal closely as the other man headed down the corridor towards his bunk. His eyes wandered down and over the captains lean body until he passed out of sight. Jayne shook his head to clear it of an unbidden image of Mal pressed up hard against him, and headed for the kitchen. He needed a strong drink, what he didn't need was to get lost in the smell of Mal, the heat of his body. 

_Yesu, ta ma de_. Jayne took a deep breath, he better get that drink and head back to his bunk, his body was tight, in less than five minutes Mal had made him harder than cared to be. 

Soon Jayne was slumped back on his bunk, one leg on the floor the other stretched out in front of him. He fumbled with his flies, reaching an unsteady hand to wrap around the hard length of his cock, closed his eyes and recalled the feel of Mal's body in his arms. Time slowed down to encompass each rise and fall of his hand, fingers slipping over satin slick skin, gathering the steady drip and pulse of precum to smooth the way. 

If Jayne thought real hard he could picture Mal, standing there by the ladder, his hands clenching and unclenching on the cold metal as he watched Jayne get off. Stripped of his usual composure, mouth open, eyes wide, the clearest blue edged away into black as dark as the verse as he just watched. 

Jayne's eyes flickered open, saw the captain standing by the ladder, he was about to close them again when Mal swallowed nervously. Jayne frowned slightly, that wern't how his daydream usually went. The captain stumbled forward sliding down onto his knees by the bunk, he knocked Jayne's hand away and grasped him firmly. 

The reality of that touch brought Jayne up fast, head first into the low bulkhead. 

"Yesu" He clapped a hand to the top of his head, feeling around for blood. "Oww, Qingwa cao de liumang!." The hand he pulled back was clean, but he screwed his eyes shut and rubbed his face. 

"Laotian fu, I'm so sorry Jayne." Mal jerked his hand away, rapidly rising to his feet and heading for the ladder. He knew this had been a bad idea, but he'd been unable to settle after Jayne had touched him in the corridor. Mal's skin had burned with the sense memory, it made him lose his natural caution. He'd come to Jayne's bunk and found the door unlocked, he'd only meant to talk to the merc, but to see him laid out like that. His mouth had gone dry as he'd focused on the long legs spread wide, baggy pants pushed down around lean hips showing an expanse of rippling golden skin. Jayne's head had been thrown back, his eyes half closed as his fist had pumped over his cock. Mal had to touch, he'd had needed it so badly that he'd given way, had crossed the room and wrapped his hand around Jayne. Thing was, Mal hadn't realised that Jayne hadn't seen him, resulting in the merc's injury. 

Embarrassed like he'd rarely every been, Mal tried to get away, tried to apologise. He'd nearly made it too, 'cepting Jayne stretched out and hauled him back. Mal went down in a tangle, driving his elbow into Jayne's stomach. 

"Wode ma" Jayne's wheezed, temporarily out of breath. Mal struggled to get away, he wrestled till he was lying on Jayne's chest, desperate now to be somewhere else. Jayne held him tight and rolled them both over on the bunk, settling his considerable weight on Mal, pinning him down. 

"Mal" Jayne's voice was sharp with pain, it made Mal cringe, it also made him quiet down. The fight went out of Mal's body and Jayne took the opportunity to force his captain's legs apart, making himself more comfortable in the cradle of Mal's thighs. 

"Let me up Jayne." Mal was weary of the struggle, he tried to keep his eyes fixed on a greasy spot on the wall as far away from Jayne's face as possible. 

"Mal, what do you think you're doin', catching a man by surprise like that, it's a wonder my head ain't busted open." 

Mal blushed, aware that Jayne's state of partial undress was wearing away at his nerves. He stayed quiet under the mercenary's curious stare. Annoyed, Jayne gripped Mal's chin and forced his face around, he wanted to see what was wrong. 

"Last time I saw you, you was acting mighty skittish. You got something you want to tell me?" 

Mal's eyes flicked up quickly, just long enough to take in the puzzled expression on Jayne's face before skittering back to that spot on the wall. 

"I'm sorry," he took a breath and tried to stay calm. "I just wanted to ask you something." 

Jayne wriggled a little, a smile curling his lips when Mal sucked in a breath as their cocks made contact. 

"Ask away Mal, aint nothin' I wouldn't tell you." 

Mal's locked eyes then with Jayne, all quiet like, something sparking unseen between them. 

"Why don't you kiss on the lips? " 

Jayne tilted his head all serious like. "Kissing's a right personal thing Mal. If'n I'm gonna kiss someone they'd have to be more'n some whore or nameless rut." 

Mal looked away, from what he could feel Jayne probably wouldn't say no to rollin' him, hell he'd likely do it on a regular basis if it meant getting off with no strings. But Mal wasn't sure he could do that. The heart wants what it wants allright. But why'd he have to want Jayne. 

Even knowin' that he'd only be a release for the big man, Mal hardened his heart, at least he'd get laid this one time. Hands tentatively found Jayne's hips and Mal pushed up, smiling a little when Jayne groaned and dropped his head onto Mal's shoulder. 

"You want that Mal, want me to take you, fill you up 'til your fit to burst, bury my cock in that tight hot body of yours?" 

Mal shuddered at the dark words, rubbing against Jayne until the big mercenary lifted up and took hold of his pants yanking them down and ripping them from his legs. His shirt was torn open and hung down at his sides, but Mal didn't care, Jayne was hurriedly stripping himself and that was all Mal could focus on. In the shadow of the bunk Mal could see Jayne's eyes gleaming like a cats in the dark. He pushed his knees up and spread his thighs offering himself. Jayne's big hands curved over and around the backs of his knees, stroking up to his thighs and lifting his legs higher. 

Mal shuddered when Jayne grabbed his hand and brought it up to his knee. "Hold yourself open for me." Mal did as he was told, watching avidly when Jayne's fingers trailed down his thighs to tangle in the coarse hair at the base of his cock. Their eyes locked and Mal found his mouth going dry as Jayne leaned down, his hot breath ghosting over Mal's aching length. Jayne licked a long wet stripe up the length of Mal's cock with the flat of his tongue, chuckling deep in his throat as Mal threw his head back and arched his back in response. He drew closer his kneecaps brushing Mal's cheeks, as he reached past the blanket covering his guns and drew out a pot of oil. 

"You can say no if'n you want to Mal. Once we do this things'll change. You know that don't you?" 

Jayne's twisted open the lid, dipping his fingers inside to coat them in the oil. 

Mal let go of his legs and pushed himself up on his elbows. 

"I'll still be the captain Jayne. No amount of ruttin's gonna change that." 

Jayne's greasy fingers trailed back to the crease of Mal's legs, sliding down wetly to find his entrance. 

"Weren't talking about that." 

"What then, oh Yesu Jayne" Slippery fingers invaded Mal's body, two of them forcing their way into his heat. Mal's feet lifted off the bed as Jayne bore him down, fingers pushing in and out all the while, stretching Mal, getting him ready. 

Jayne's voice was deep and dark in his ear, lips catching on Mal's skin as he talked. Mal shuddered when Jayne's fingers moved away leaving him empty. 

"You're under my skin Mal, dong ma, I'll never let you go, never leave you, never betray you." 

Big ,blunt, incredibly hard, the head of Jayne's cock pushed into Mal's body making him swear under his breath. Sweat ran in rivulets down the side of his face, to be caught on Jayne's eager tongue. The two men froze, motionless, Mal burning from the invasion of his ass, Jayne pulsing, fighting for control. Mal panted, harsh breaths puffing out between slack lips, he turned his head to see Jayne poised over him. The dark head was bowed, the big shoulders tensed, tendons standing out on his arms as Jayne fought the battle and won. 

Jayne brought his head up, seeing the worry in Mal's eyes. 

"You ready?" 

Mal lifted his chin, he could feel the steady beat of Jayne's pulse under his skin, he was not afraid, he was never afraid. 

"Shi" 

Jayne's smile was something Mal had never seen before, open and tender it confused him until the big man thrust hard, his cock punching deep into Mal's guts. Mal started to scream but Jayne's mouth closed over his, the larger man's lips swallowing his cries. Tears squeezed out of Mal's eyes as Jayne kissed him, over and over, all the while the merc's body thrust into his making him shake with emotion, with pleasure. Mal felt his hands being caught up, entwined with Jayne's as they rocked and moaned together. Behind tightly closed lids an aurora of lights flashed and strobed, leaving Mal breathless and shaking. Jayne's lips moved over Mal's jaw leaving a trail of tiny kisses until he found the captains pulse hammering under his mouth. 

"Aw Mal, you feel so ruttin' good, better'n I ever imagined you would." 

The muscles in Mal's throat constricted, "You thought about this, about me before?" 

Jayne brought Mal's hands up above his head pressing them into the mattress and holding them with one large hand. Fingers of his free hand trailed over Mal's chest, heading down to wrap around the captains leaking cock. 

"Thought 'bout this?" Jayne shifted, thrust harder, smiled when Mal's eyes glazed over. "Hell yeah, but I figured I'd have to wait for you to want me." 

"W.w.why?" Mal was feeling so much it was hard to get the one word out, his synapses were fried, the only thing he could concentrate on was Jayne's cock ploughing into him. 

Jayne started to fuck him faster, "You're the captain." 

Mal didn't have time to ponder that statement, his body was surely being pushed beyond its limits. The colours got brighter, flashing faster as his body tightened, his thighs started to burn from being held up so high, and he felt like he was floating out in the verse. 

"Uh...uh..uh" Jayne's hand moved in shorter harsh strokes on Mal's cock, his eyes locked on Mal's face, just watching the tension screw itself tighter and tighter, until. Mal bucked up hard, his ass clamping around Jayne's dick, his cock throbbing, spewing out cum over his belly and Jayne's hand. 

"Gorram...Mal," Jayne's mouth sealed over Mal's as his hips pistioned harder into that grasping ass. The kiss was hard, Mal felt Jayne let go of his wrists in favour of grabbing his hips and pushed up hard, giving in, letting Jayne's momentum drive out another trickle of cum. Jayne was slippery with sweat but Mal got a hold around his neck and breathed into the kiss. He felt Jayne's orgasm like it was a blast from one of those guns he loved so much. Mal was splayed open, bent over awkwardly as Jayne took one last thrust and stilled. Inside Mal could feel the pulse of Jayne's cock and the slippery trickle of cum filling his ass. Jayne's cry was captured by the captain's mouth, taken and gentled and returned with warmth. 

They slumped together, joined, sticky, hot and sweaty, but somehow it was right. 

Jayne's shifted to the side, taking his weight off Mal's chest and sliding carefully from his body. He dug an arm under Mal's shoulder and pulled him into his chest. Mal's head lolled onto Jayne's shoulder, his arm sliding over the muscled stomach to hold him close. 

"You're still the captain Mal." Jayne's voice was soft, gravely and deadly serious. 

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that, though the way you rode me says otherwise." Mal cracked an eye and watched Jayne's expression. 

Jayne grinned, "Just cause I topped you today don't mean you can't do me tomorrow." 

"Shi ma, is that so?" Mal moved up to kiss Jayne softly on the lips. 

Jayne rolled on his side, taking the kiss and deepening it, his hand working into the sweat soaked hair at the back of Mal's neck and holding him still. All they did was kiss, mouths moving languidly over and over until they needed to breath. 

"You know I'm yours Mal, body and soul, aint a thing you can do about it." 

Mal smiled wickedly "The heart wants what it wants huh?" 

Jayne shivered when Mal's hand found his stirring flesh, he pushed his hips forward and brushed his lips over Mal's. 

"I'm guessin' so," Jayne's hand ran down Mal's side to cup his ass, "don't need to want anymore," he squeezed one cheek rewarded when Mal's tongue flicked out to wet his lips. "I've got it and I aint lettin' go, ever." 

Mal didn't answer, just dived into a kiss that both gave and took, just what he needed, just what his heart wanted. 

The End 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **What The Heart Wants**   
Author:   **Mightbeme**   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **NC-17**  |  ***slash***  |  **22k**  |  **02/04/05**   
Characters:  Malcolm, Jayne, Book   
Pairings:  Mal/ Jayne   
Summary:  Mal has a question, does Jayne have the answer   
  



End file.
